For a long time, my life was ruled  by "shoulds."  I used to think, "I should do this" or "I HAVE TO do that," to force myself into action.  And when I didn't do whatever it was that I thought I should have done, it was as if my whole world had crumbled, sending me into a state of deep disappointment and feeling as though I had failed.  Not a very pleasant way to live, is it?

This way of thinking is erroneous.  It can create unnecessary stress and pressure, as well as anxiety and depressive symptoms.  

On one occasion, during a meeting with one of my former mentors, he noticed that I was going down my should path and feeling rather disappointed and miserable about various pressures, some self-imposed, and said to me, "You're shoulding all over yourself."  I laughed, of course (!), broke out of my negative spiral and had an ah-ha moment.